Tuesday, August 11, 2015

On the Market: A 1980's Time Capsule

I've confessed before that one of my favorite ways to waste time is to browse real estate listings. Every morning I see what new listings have come online in my area, and from time to time will also see what's available in the areas I grew up in and neighborhoods around the country that I know have fantastic houses!

My curiosity was piqued when I saw this listing in my hometown. The listing price of almost $800,000 is virtually unheard of in small town Beckley, WV (even for a large house in a desirable neighborhood.) The first pictures in the listing drew me in:

A pleasant looking French style house, typical of what was being built in the 70s and 80s, right?

What a gorgeous back yard. Obviously a lot of care and updating has been put in there recently.

After browsing a few shots of the backyard, with it's beautiful pool, outdoor kitchen, and lush landscaping, I was really looking forward to seeing the interior. Surely it had been updated with the same attention to detail, right?

I should warn my readers with a delicate decorative sensibility to turn away now. The following pictures may induce seizures, nausea, or an uncontrollable urge to put on shoulder pads and a pair of stirrup pants. If Crockett and Tubbs had a house in West Virginia, this would have been it. I'm just going to let these pictures speak for themselves:
Pink cabinets and black light wallpaper

So many patterns...

Pink and teal and black.

The tamest room in the house.

That bed. It almost distracts from whatever arrangement of funeral flowers occupies the other side of the room.

Interestingly scalloped stairs.

Glass block, black wallpaper, and a strange metal tree highlight the foyer.

more black in the kitchen.

black, purple, red, and mirrors. Reminds me of a 1980s mall store.

Charcoal dining room with a view to the living room beyond.

Pink and purple sun room with 1980s airport art.

A sea of teal.

No 1980s home would be complete without a pink Jacuzzi.

Lower level  rec room or 1980s nightclub?
So, could you embrace the retro style of this house, or would it be a gut job? Can the 80s be cool again?


  1. The 80's can def be cool again but I never liked pink and purple together for interior decor... I almost wish I liked this house because it is pretty cool but it is just...soooo not my taste.
    Too bad a movie location scout couldn't use it for a film, it's pretty awful.